Wednesday, 10 October 2018

I have accepted that I am shy. #Blogtober18

Throughout October I will be joining in with Big Family Organised Chaos and her linky for Blogtober18....Today's prompt is: Just Be Yourself.

It may sound ridiculous saying this but I am not a social person even though you can usually find me on social media chatting away.



I have always been a shy person, as a child and now. I have no idea why? My dad is the most confident person you can meet and my mother wasn't confident but she wasn't shy either. My brother isn't shy but I am.

It would be easy to say that because I was bullied at school that is the reason I am shy but it's not. I was bullied because I was the quiet one. I used to take the name calling, talking behind my back and dirty looks but anything more and I would fight back. Bullies used to think because I wouldn't answer them back I wouldn't hit back. They were wrong.

After I had Ellie the health visitor suggested that I should take her to the baby groups and I took her to a few but I hated it. The people weren't the nicest. The thought of going each week would fill me with dread. I am not a people person.

When I meet new people I can come across as stand offish and unfriendly but I am not really like that. I don't mean to be I just struggle to find the words and confidence to say what I want to say. I think this is why I like blogging and social media so much. I can hide behind a screen (not in a nasty way like a troll of course).

There have been times when I have been forced to make small talk with people, when the kids have been invited to parties, family get together and things like parents evenings. I always come home exhausted. Talking to strangers is tiring.

The only time I am confident in speaking is when I have to stand up for my girls. When my girls were being diagnosed with their heart defects. I fought to get them checked, stayed with them in hospital and had to speak to lots and lots of people. As time has gone on I have had arguments with teachers and other parents when I know I am in the right and there is wrong being done to my girls. Then I can find all the words.

The people closest to me accept that I am a quiet person. In a group of my closest friends I will always be called the quiet one. My family are the only one's to see the real me. They know that deep down I am a gobby cow who has lots of opinions and they sometimes struggle to get a word in.

For years I worried about being shy and hated myself for being like this but now I am at a point in my life where I think stuff it! With age comes wisdom. I have accepted that I am shy. I am not going to change and I don't need to. This is me! At my age I don't need to go out an meet new people, I have friends and I don't need to be sociable out of my little circle. Well apart from online. hehehe



7 comments :

  1. Interesting piece Kim. When I think of you I don't think shy so it goes to show how handy that screen can be.

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  2. I agree with you, it's easier to be sociable and talkative online.

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  3. Aw this is beautiful - especially the choice of song! You're completely right though - if you're happy with who you are, that's all that matters.

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  4. I'd never have guessed you were shy! I am a bit but much better nowadays, having kids helped a lot. It's amazing what we will do to fight for our kids isn't it? I change instantly if I need to fight for one of them! x

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  5. Shy people have much to give too. Easily drowned out. I'm glad you've found your way to share. I'm not shy, but I do find a day with other people absolutely exhausting. #MMBC

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  6. I can totally relate to people thinking you're stand offish when they first meet you. When I started at the charity shop most of the staff and other volunteers thought the same of me. It took a while for me to get to know them and start to feel comfortable around them I could drop my guard and let them know the real me.

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  7. I think you are awesome. We have grown to be really good friends through blogging and that I am thankful for. I can't wait until we can finally get together and put the world to rights! Hehe. Keep being the beautiful you. :) xx

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