Tuesday 13 June 2017

My teen and shielding her from things...

Have you seen that episode of Friends? The One Where Old Yeller Dies. Phoebe finds out that her mother never showed her the ends of sad movies to shield her from the pain....

My teens school are doing the same thing to her....lol


Last year Becky was learning about The Holocaust in English and History. In English they were reading The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas....Just before Christmas I think it was they watched the film at school....They only watched the first three quarters of the film....The teacher turned it off while everything was still pretty nice....The boys were separated by the fence but were having a nice time. Well a nice time compared to what happened....The teacher said the film had finished and Becky took it as that.....

We watched the film together and it broke our hearts.....Becky was rather annoyed that she wasn't allowed to watch it at school. Yes she was upset by it, who wouldn't be but she wasn't traumatized by it....She was annoyed that her teachers hid it from her.....

On Friday when she came home from school she said her and her class were doing a Drama lesson about the Eminem song Stan....I never got to the bottom about what the point of the lesson was.....

They were watching the censored version of the music video...Which was great for 13/14 year old's ears.


Becky told me how the song was all about an obsessed fan and then Eminem wrote back to him and that was it....

What the song is actually about is....A fan who is obsessed with Eminem. His letters are not answered so he puts his pregnant girlfriend in the boot of his car and drives off a bridge.....The song ends with Eminem answering his letter and realizing Stan was the man in the news he saw who drove off the bridge....

"And in the car they found a tape
But they didn't say who it was to.
Come to think about it, his name was... it was you, damn"

The sneaky teacher had missed a verse out in the middle and the end out....When Becky was telling me about "Stan" I was so confused and amused....I showed her the uncut version and it made so much more sense to her.....She had a total Ahh moment. I could see the penny drop.

I know it's not appropriate for teachers to show Year 9 children songs like this but come on....If you are going to use it to base a whole lesson around you cannot tell half a story.....

I know for a fact Becky has heard worse then the Eminem song Stan....I have tried to censor what she watches in the past but she is going to hear about things like this from her friends at school.....I don't even want to think about what her and her friends talk about. She is 15 in a few months and lately I have tried not to stress about what she is watching....

There is certain things I won't let her watch....Trainspotting, Breaking Bad, Geordie Shore to give a few examples....Things like that is just crossing the line in my eyes but I have let her watch things on YouTube that contain swear words.....Things like Ozzy Man Reviews videos....Becky introduced him to me and I have nearly wet myself laughing at some of his videos. Iguana vs Snakes - Planet Earth 2 is the funniest thing ever.....

I of course will still be checking what she's watching but I think the time has come for me to become a little more relaxed about what Becky see's & hears on TV and online....Becky is not a little girl anymore. When I was her age and I cringe at what I was watching, saying and doing but that is a whole different blog post....

24 comments :

  1. I don't agree with that at all, either they are old enough to deal with the story or not! Although I've not seen the film The Boy in the Striped Pajamas I've read the book, so perhaps the ending is too much, but I can see why she was annoyed, and there is bound to be one or two of the children that have seen the film and know the ending anyway to tell the rest of the class. And I'd show mine the uncut version of the song too (well not now as they are still a bit too little, but when they are older!).

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    1. It does seem wrong...My girl has said she is going to check everything she is told at school with me. hehehe

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  2. Stan by mein is one of my all time favourite records the lyrics are fantastic, my youngest son was responsible for introducing me to this artist as he had a poster on his bedroom wall when he was 13 ( my son was 13, not mein!) #teenstweensandbeyond@_karendennis

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    1. It is a fantastic song. It tells the story really well. I was in my late teens when Eminem became famous over here. hehehe

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  3. It does seem rather strange that the school is only allowing half the story. I will admit that I have been introduced to just part of a story while in education but it was relevant to what I was studying and the rest wasn't. (I still went on and found out about the rest, but I'm talking about Operas and some are very very long!) I think at Becky's age it's silly to shield them from things like this and she's good to have such an understanding Mum to give her the whole story. It's quite scary to think she's nearly 15 though, where has the time gone?

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    1. I think at her age she is old enough to know about these things....I think the school can be over protective at times. Ugh. Ahh! Tell me about it. Her being nearly 15 makes me feel so old. Thank you x

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  4. Hi Kim, I honestly don't see that showing half a film or playing half a sing to a fifteen year old is shielding them. By that age they are old enough to handle things and must learn to, life is not always glitter and fairy dust and that is a life lesson they must learn or how will they ever learn when lines are crossed. By leaving bits out, the teachers are in effect depriving the youngsters of not learning how to cope with the not so nice side of life.

    Both The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas and the song Stan tell powerful stories and when I watched and heard them for the first time they really touched me deeply.

    Thank you for linking up with the #mmbc.

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    1. You are so right....At nearly 15 they are old enough to know life isn't always rosy!
      They do tell amazing stories.
      Thank you x

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  5. If they are learning about the Haulocaust they need to see the whole film. They need to be told about it first and have time to discuss it together, as a group, after. I see no point in only showing half. Maybe parents have complained before.

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    1. They really do need to see the whole film...I agree!
      I have a feeling there has been complaints. Ugh!x

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  6. That's ridiculous! Either they're old enough to handle it or they're not. And if they're not - don't read them half a story, show them half a film or play them half a song! And my personal view is that they definitely are old enough at that age. I read The Boy in Striped Pyjamas to my daughter when she was 10. I can't remember what the certificate of the film is, but it's probably a 12. My son has been watching 15 films since he was 13. He's 16 in a couple of weeks and he informs me he's allowed to watch 18s then! He's probably right.

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    1. Yes! Exactly! I really didn't see the point of only sharing half the story...
      My teen is watching 15 films now...I think your son is right. The classification of films seems a lot stricter not than it used to be when we were younger.

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  7. that is not right, the school should either a) show the whole film and deal with it, b) not show it or c) find something more appropriate and relevant. i'm glad you were abet o sit with your daughter and work things through with her

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    1. They should commit to something and not tell half the story. Thank you x

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  8. Interesting perspective and I can see the confusion and frustration when you look at it like that. I remember things being turned off when they got a bit near the mark when we were growing up or things being removed from newspapers!! This was useful to read as, I'm sure, this is something that everyone has been guilty of from time to time. After all, we never accept half the picture ourselves do we - #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. I can remember things being turned off too....
      I feel that as long as things are not too tramatizing I will be honest and upfront with my girls. We do want to see the full picture ourselves. x

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  9. Years ago, when I was the same age as your daughter, there was an exhibition of items from Auchwitz. it was the first, and possibly, last time they'd let some of the items out of the country. A bunch of us went from school as we were studying WWII at O-Level. The exhibition was full of Jewish families - some of who we chatted too - and they were using the exhibition to explain to their children what had happened to their grandparents. Some of the younger children were turning their heads away from the films etc and the parents were turning their heads back. Because they needed them to see. Our children need to know about the what, the how and the why to ensure that things like that never happen again.

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    1. Oh gosh. That really got to me....It is so sad to think about that their children lost their grandparents in something so awful!
      You are right our children do need to know about these things xxx

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  10. It is a bit like receiving half a lesson. Bizarre that the teacher would pick something to illustrate a point and then adapt/censor it rather than look for another example. We try to protect our children from so much but it is increasingly difficult when they are surrounded by so much information and have a thirst for knowing more. There is always something difficult to consider in life and our children need to be introduced to that not protected from it. #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. It did seem like half a lesson was taught...
      My girl always wants to know more and I love her for that and I try to be as honest and as up front as I can....

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  11. It does seem very strange! My only guess would be that teachers have a hard time trying to keep everyone happy. Some parents may not have wanted kids to see the ending? Other parents feel it's important to have that sort of lesson so they tried to opt for a half-way house and that ended up confusing everyone! What's important is that your daughter could ask you about it and you had the chance to sort it out. Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. I really do think it's down to people complaining but I feel like it should be tough luck! They are nearly 15 and need to start living in the real world. It really did leave at least my girl confused. Thank you x

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