Thursday, 19 October 2017

Good and bad secrets. Day 19 of #Blogtober17

I am taking part in Blogtober17 and will be writing posts with various themes/prompts throughout October...Today's prompt is: Secrets.


I have been half following the news about Harvey Weinstein and one part of me isn't surprised that things like this happen in Hollywood but another part of me is shocked that so many people have came forward against this vile man now....Some have been keeping this a secret for years... 

I was watching the news and Becky started talking to me...We got on about different types of secrets then Ellie joined in on the conversation and I felt like I was winning at parenting in the 10 minutes that followed..... 

We talked about that there are the secrets which are really surprises....What Stu and the girls have got me for my birthday, what the kids are getting for Christmas or if we're going on a day out and how Stu and I keep it a secret from them until we are ready to leave.....That type of thing. The secrets that never stay secret for long....We decided that we are OK with those types of secrets...

We then got on about the secrets we shouldn't keep to ourselves....

I have always made it clear to my girls that if anyone asks them to keep a secret about anything including their friends and they are worried they should tell me....

Secrets their friends tell like "Shh, don't tell anyone but my nanna let me stay up past my bedtime" are OK. No one is coming to harm but if a friend told them that their nanna let them stay up past their bedtime because she was drunk on the couch. That is not OK.....

They know that if the secret can hurt someone or leave them in danger to tell me. They know to trust their instincts...I am confident that my girls don't keep secrets from me....I have always said that they can tell me anything and I’ll believe them....

We talked about how no one, not even someone they know well has the right to ask them to keep a secret....Not even an adult....Becky chirped up and said they have done about this at school and she told me how they had a talk about inappropriate touching and how if it happened you had to tell.....I went over it with Ellie and she said if anyone touched her where they shouldn't she'd kick them, scream and tell someone straight away.....I quite believe she would too! 

I am so lucky that I have a good relationship with my girls....So different from when I was growing up. My mother made me and my brother keep her drinking a secret from my dad and the rest of the world. She would tell him she'd only had one glass of whatever when she'd had 4 and tell my brother and I to keep it a secret. He knew but we were often put in awkward situations....Lying about why she was still in bed into the afternoon and why she slurred her words.....Ugh! No child should ever be put in situations like that and I think that's why with my children we are an open and honest family.


2 comments :

  1. Hi Kim, I really can get my head around the things that go on without people speaking up. Suddenly there are hoards of people, strong adult people, saying they were aware or affected by this lowlife Harvey Weinstein. And in recent years we have seen similar stories... Talking to children in a relaxed atmosphere about important issues is the best way to approach subjects like this. You do have a good relationship with your girls and I bet they are as proud of you as you are of them!

    Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.

    xx

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  2. Your girls sound fab! I'd not given much thought to secrets before this blogtober prompt, but now I realise how dangerous they can be! I'm going to explaining the difference between surprises and secrets to my son!

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