Thursday, 13 March 2014

I'm the worst mother in the world....

Well according to Becky I am....

We are going through the same argument again....The one we have about every 6 months or so....Becky is 11 and want's a Facebook account I won't let her have one....

 
All her friends have it she says....She only wants to play the games....What's wrong with playing them on her tablet by downloading the app....

I know she thinks I'm being so mean to her but I have put my foot down....I've showed her the terms and conditions again on Facebook....As of right now the age limit for Facebook is 13.....It is against their rules!!

I'm not trying to say that those parents who allow their children to have Facebook accounts are wrong.....Their children may be mature and more internet savvy for their age....Each to their own!! I just don't think Facebook is appropriate for Becky at the moment.....Maybe when she's older.....

Facebook is designed for adults not for children.....I don't want her seeing or reading something she shouldn't....While I can monitor the what she posts I cannot monitor what other people are posting.....

I have seen some of the accounts of children from her school....Quite a few of them public....Some posting pictures of themselves with their school uniform on.....The badge on full view with the name of the school.....Photos of random things with a letter or piece of paper next to the random item with there address on....That's not safe at all and don't get me started on the language being used....

I also don't want random people trying to add her.....People she doesn't know that could pose a threat to her.....Kids underestimate the dangers of internet predators.....Of course I have talked with Becky and gone over all the basics like don't give out your personal information....Never chat with someone you don't know but sometimes I wonder how much notice she has took! I am not taking that risk....

I am fully aware that I can't protect Becky from the internet or social media forever.....I would just like her to be a bit more mature and more prepared to handle everything that comes along with these sites.....

There is so much pressure out there for kids to speed through childhood and grow up far too fast....It's our job as parents to honor and protect our children's right to childhood....Even if that means saying "No" sometimes.

30 comments :

  1. My eldest is 7 but I think I will be exactly the same as you - facebook causes so many problems! The longer you stay out of them the better I think! X

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    1. It does cause so may problems.....I sometimes consider deactivating my account...

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  2. Oops think I just deleted my comment lol. Was saying that you are doing the right thing as Facebook is hardly private. I wouldn't let my children touch social media until they are way older! x

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    1. Thank you! Glad to know I'm doing the right thing :)

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  3. This must be really hard(a long way off for me yet) but I think you're right sometimes we have to say no to our children x

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    1. It feels like a battle with her....It's not often that I do say no to her but with this I have put my foot down x

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  4. I agree with you 100% Kim, There's just too much bad content and Users that abuse fb and the more we protect our Little Ones from that the better. :) x

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    1. Thank you! There is...I will be protecting my two as long as I can!!

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  5. We let G have one when she was 11 but there were very strict rules, which are still in place now 2 years later. Also me and her mother both have access to her facebook. Shes been told we must have the password so no changing it without telling us. Also we have full 24/7 access to her email account so we can see whats going on there when her friends post something. We had a similar thing when she wanted BBM as well. I put my foot down for a while with that as I think Blackberry phones are rubbish ( first hand experience ), but also, I dont like peer pressure where its 'all my friends have it'. That really grinds my bits. Now that BBM is available on Android and iOS, its a bit difficult to control. She has it now but shes not allowed to add people she doesnt know, and we have to check her phone ever now and then to see who shes got on there. Its a shame we have to be so paranoid these days, but as you said, you have to be safe.

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    1. It seems like you have thought everything through and kept her safe.....I don't think Becky is mature enough for it at the moment though.....It is just peer pressure with her though.....She has known about Facebook for years and only wanted it since her friends started to get accounts...Grr!

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    2. Its strange that this has happened at the same time as your post. Ive just had a heated ddiscussing with our daughter as she added a lad on who is apparently from another school but she doesnt know. It was like lighting the touch paper and standing back. She couldnt see my view about how people can pretent to be one person and actually be some dirty old man in a bedsit ( as I described it ) and why they would post profile pics as if they are just your lads or lasses. I said, either he gets removed or BBM gets taken off altogether. He went.

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    3. Uh-Oh! Good riddance....Better to be safe than sorry when it comes to things like that :)

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  6. This strikes the fear of God in to me and I completely understand your hesitation. It's not just who and what you're exposing them to but also the digital footprint that they leave behind that ultimately will follow them through their life ... all that teenage angst laid open for the rest of their lives. What you think is acceptable as a teenager can basically thwart your career chances as an adult. When I used to work and was recruiting for my team, I always checked their social media profiles. I was horrified at what some thought was appropriate to post. But ... at 11, who wants to think about that? Stick to your guns x

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    1. I never even thought of that aspect of it....A very good point!! So glad Facebook wasn't around when I was a teenager!! lol

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  7. I think you are doing the right thing and it's great that you are sticking to it, I can only begin to imagine how difficult it must be. Thankfully we are nowhere near this age yet but it has crossed my mind recently. I wouldn't really want my son being friends with half my family with some of the things they post and say on FB, let alone the rest of the population! They definitely need to understand more about the dangers of the internet before they are allowed freedom on social media.

    Keep up the good parenting!

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    1. Thank you! hahaha Most of my family is quite tame on FB it's what my friends and I post I worry about....lol

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  8. Kids don't understand the dangers out there, or the worries that parents have from the moment they enter this world. I think there is a vast difference between 11 and 13. Stick to your guns! x

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  9. Oh my 9 year old set up a Facebook account without my knowledge. I found out and wasn't happy with him. I agree it should be for adults, not teenagers and not kids

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  10. I am totally with you on this! My son is coming up for 13 and, although he doesn't ask that often, he asks every now and then for Facebook and Twitter. The answer is always the same - when he's 13. Even then I'd rather he didn't have it. It's opening up a whole new word which is mainly fun and good, but can so easily have a dark side.
    The latest thing is both boys (younger son is 10) are asking to post Minecraft videos on YouTube. Why??! I just don't see the point. I have no idea what they hope to gain from it and can only see the potential negatives.
    I'd love to use this post for the Britmums teen and tween round-up!

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    1. I have seen loads of Minecraft videos on Youtube....I don't really see the point either...lol
      Yes of course you can use it for Britmums! Would be an honor x

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  11. I agree with you. I think children shouldn't have Facebook accounts. They are too young for that! My daughter is three and when's your daughter's age, I'd do exactly what you're doing :) Not a worst mum at all, if you were, we would all be! :) #PoCoLo.

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  12. We didn't let our daughter have it, stating the "you have to be 13 rule" & now that she's old enough she doesn't want to use it!!!! She thinks it's lame & hates the crap that goes on between her friends, all the bitching & stuff!!

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    1. Good on her....Sounds like you have a sensible young lady there :)

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  13. This is a difficult one, you see I may be the bad parent. I actually let my son have fb. He loves the games, he is only friends with family and friends his own age etc etc. However, he doesn't use it. I totally think it is up to the parent, who know their child the best. I also think the parent should have control of the childs page and privacy settings. The things I have seen horrify me!
    I think you are doing the right thing for your child, and that is GOOD parenting xx

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    1. No not at all...Everyone can parent how they want to....It's just my opinion....Becky is no way mature enough for it yet....

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  14. I am SO with you on this Kim. There is no way Grace is going anywhere near Facebook until she is at least 13 - maybe older! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

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