Saturday, 4 January 2014

T'was the month after Christmas......

T'was the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I had to taste,
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the shops (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.


The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
and the way I'd never said, No thank you, please.
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt,
I said to myself as only I can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
'til all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or pizza, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Author Unknown
 

12 comments :

  1. Hilarious! You should link this up the Prose for Thought with @vicwelton Very funny.

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    1. Ohhh I never thought of that....I thought it had to be something you had written yourself. Thank you x

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  2. Pahahahaha! Laughing so much at this! Happy New Year lovely :) xxx

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  3. I love this poem, so true for so many of us! I'm on day three of healthy eating (I like to think of it as a long term change) - I might write this poem out to look at from time to time. Xxx

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    1. Our healthy eating starts tomorrow....lol

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  4. I've never seen that before but I understand the message all too well!

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  5. I've never seen this before but know the feeling all too well- my husband and I have decided that healthy eating starts tomorrow- we are now on a mission to finish all the Christmas cheese by tonight!!

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    1. We're starting tomorrow too....All our Christmas goodies are gone!
      Here's to healthy eating :p

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